Boys & Sex
Books | Family & Relationships / Life Stages / Teenagers
4.2
Peggy Orenstein
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLERNow in paperback—Peggy Orenstein, author of the groundbreaking New York Times bestseller Girls & Sex, turns her focus to the sexual lives of young men. “Eye-opening…. Every few pages, the boy world cracks open a little bit…. Even in the most anxiety-provoking moments of Boys & Sex, it’s clear that Orenstein believes in the goodness of boys and the men they can become, and she believes in us, as parents, to raise them” (New York Times Book Review).Peggy Orenstein’s Girls & Sex broke ground, shattered taboos, and launched conversations about young women’s right to pleasure and agency in sexual encounters. It also had an unexpected effect on its author: Orenstein realized that talking about girls is only half the conversation. Boys are subject to the same cultural forces as girls—steeped in the same distorted media images and binary stereotypes of female sexiness and toxic masculinity—which equally affect how they navigate sexual and emotional relationships. In Boys & Sex, Peggy Orenstein dives back into the lives of young people to once again give voice to the unspoken, revealing how young men understand and negotiate the new rules of physical and emotional intimacy.Drawing on comprehensive interviews with young men, psychologists, academics, and experts in the field, Boys & Sex dissects so-called locker room talk; how the word “hilarious” robs boys of empathy; pornography as the new sex education; boys’ understanding of hookup culture and consent; and their experience as both victims and perpetrators of sexual violence. By surfacing young men’s experience in all its complexity, Orenstein is able to unravel the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important realities of young male sexuality in today’s world. The result is a provocative and paradigm-shifting work that offers a much-needed vision of how boys can truly move forward as better men.
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More Details:
Author
Peggy Orenstein
Pages
304
Publisher
HarperCollins
Published Date
2020-01-07
ISBN
0062666991 9780062666994
Ratings
Google: 1
Community ReviewsSee all
"I’ve loved Peggy Orenstein ever since reading “Cinderella Ate My Daughter“, her terrific rebuke of the princess culture and its effect on young girls. She now brings her trademark empathy, intelligence and humor to boys and their sexual development. Orenstein confesses to her own prejudices and stereotypes, which changed as she let the boys tell their stories. Boys do not always want casual sex, but feel pressured to act as though they do. Many struggle with their discomfort at “locker room talk” and hookups, but fear rejection and mockery if they speak out. Most have good relationships with their fathers, but find them distant and unwilling or unable to open up emotionally, leaving mothers to do most of the emotional work. <br/><br/>Orenstein explores the different experiences faced by non-white and LGBTQ boys: African American boys often feel tokenized as “ghetto cool” yet fear being viewed as predators, while Asian boys are often stereotyped as non threatening, and thus nonsexual. On the other hand, although gay and trans boys cope with homophobia, they are are often better about communicating about sex with potential partners.<br/><br/>Most disturbing for many readers will be Orenstein’s observation that almost all boys have consumed **** by their early teens. She (mostly) avoids judgement, of the boys, but she notes the inevitable results: unrealistic views of women’s bodies, a disassociation between sex and emotion or affection, and a normalization of sexual aggression. As Orenstein points out, our acceptance of the easy access to *********** amounts to an uncontrolled experiment on a generation."
"Vital reading for every parent, aunt, uncle, guardian, teacher, and concerned member of society regarding the betterment of sexual and emotional relationships in this country.<br/><br/>Our young men deserve our help and guidance so that they can learn to become better lovers, partners, and members of society. This insightful book will help us do just that.<br/><br/>Fantastic read."
"Very insightful into the lives of the opposite sex. As a kid with an emotionally distant father and Asian parents most of what I learned about guys was through...you know. But I guess the culture of masculinity is broken down here and she presents you with actual convos that go down among guys and describes scenes of insecurity and decency among them."