The Assertiveness Guide for Women
Books | Self-Help / Communication & Social Skills
3.9
Julie de Azevedo Hanks
Isn’t it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you’re prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.When you’re assertive, you’re able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren’t assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren’t being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You’ll learn about the three communication stances—from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern—and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you’re unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you’ll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.Whether you’re anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.
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Author
Julie de Azevedo Hanks
Pages
216
Publisher
New Harbinger Publications
Published Date
2016-08-01
ISBN
1626253390 9781626253391
Community ReviewsSee all
"I give this book 3 stars, and only because of the emphasis on attachment theory. That is not to say that I don't believe in the validity of attachment theory, however I felt that it dominated this book in a way that hindered its effectiveness for people with a secure attachment style. I would say I have a secure attachment style with some anxious tendencies. However, Hanks assumes that people with secure attachment styles already more or less are highly functional, emotionally intelligent, confident, assertive people who just need a little push or advice. Spoiler alert: I am not all of those things. (That's why I bought this book!)<br/><br/>In my opinion, and from discussing the book's content with my therapist, my difficulty with assertiveness comes not from my attachment style but from a very anxious and emotional childhood where I often kept things to myself and put others' needs first. I will say that the worksheets and exercises were helpful and eye opening. They made me realize some things about my childhood that I've carried with me through the years and that have shaped me into the person I am today, for better and for worse. There are also a lot of great anecdotes from Hanks' conversations with various clients and helpful tips for setting boundaries and expressing your feelings in an effective and responsible way. <br/><br/>Overall, I recommend this book to anyone with an anxious or avoidant attachment style who believes that this is a significant contributor to their difficulties with assertiveness and setting boundaries. However, if you have more of a secure attachment style, I suggest maybe just taking a look at some of the exercises and worksheets but ultimately looking for a book that is a bit more relevant to you."
Leah Silecchia