Belzhar

"I have a lot thoughts about this book, so I'm going to try my best to write something coherent.<br/><br/>I feel there's now a whole Gone Girl-effect with books--meaning they feel the need to pull the rug out from under the reader. The thing about twists is, when they're done well they a) surprise you and b) although you didn't expect it, it makes sense narratively and as a reader it makes you even more intrigued. This is the second YA novel with a twist I've read this year and I found neither were done well. <br/><br/>In [b:We Were Liars|16143347|We Were Liars|E. Lockhart|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1402749479s/16143347.jpg|21975829] I guessed the twist which meant it wasn't as exciting to find out, although I would say it works with the narrative. I just didn't like the characters nor the writing style so wasn't invested enough to keep reading despite knowing the twist. You could argue that I shouldn't judge it solely because I figured it out, but I would counterpoint that I have watched Memento and Gone Girl either having seen or read it before and I still enjoyed both films. For me they're strong enough narratives that although not knowing definitely makes it more suspenseful, I still find something redeeming in watching it again. <br/><br/>Now with Belzhar, I did not guess the twist, although I had suspicions something was up with Jam's story, so there was the "whoa really??" moment, but after that died down it made me like Jam and the story a whole lot less. <spoiler> While I found it hard to believe Jam and Reeve were actually in-love after 41 days, I was willing to go with it since having someone you're close to die is tragic, and perhaps maybe intensified the feelings since she was still feeling infatuated. However, once we discover that it's ALL IN HER HEAD, I immediately felt angry. Like really? You have kids whose brother got abducted and drunk mother caused them to lose the ability to walk and you're upset that a guy you liked actually never felt the same way so you killed him mentally? On one level I'm just aghast, and if I were the other kids in that class I would have a hard time having sympathy. On another level I was screaming "YOU ARE PSYCHO!!" Like, Dana maybe has legit reasons to dislike you. It seemed so odd to me that they treated this moment like just one thing that happened but now she'll move on from it. People get hurt all the time by relationships, and I'm not saying one shouldn't be upset. I've had my share of liking a guy and being hurt he didn't like me back or even thinking maybe he felt the same, but it's a whole new level when you're then "killing" them and believing it so much you're grieving. She needs some more treatment than a Breakfast Club-like group.</spoiler><br/><br/>Other weak moments are Jam's relationships with everyone that isn't Reeve. We're told how close Sierra and Jam are, yet we never see it. I didn't see it any different than Jam's relationships with any of the other kids in the Special class. Which speaking of that class, I felt we should have spent more time in it. At the end they all go on how much they've learned from Mrs. Q and the class, yet once again I didn't see it. They went to class and discussed Sylvia Plath--which seemed like any English class. They say they expressed their true feelings and ambitions, etc., but what? Where? When? The only time they talked was in their secret meetings where they discussed the journal. There was just a lot of things in the book where I felt we were told what happened or how they felt rather than witnessing it in action. "Oh just trust us--we got close." And what was up with her little brother acting out at the end? Or for that matter her joining the acapella group? I also felt there was too much focus on Jam and Reeve. In some ways it makes sense since the book is from Jam's perspective, but then we're given the lesson about "words being important" yet we're never shown that. They write in their journals but they don't even know what they wrote until the read it later since they go into a trance while in Belzhar. That's not really learning how to express yourself. <br/><br/>I did think the idea of Belzhar was an interesting idea--I immediately thought of a world where my mom never died and we re-live memories together. And I thought the point was well-made that you can understand the want to stay there; the idea of no pain, but it also means no growth. Neither you nor the other people in this world change and although at first it would be great eventually you would realize you have to go through the pain to live your life. I really did like that and it caused me to reflect on my own feelings and issues I'm working through so I definitely will give the book credit for that. <br/><br/>Actual rating: 2.5 stars"

"I loved the book, devoured it. Then the ending happened and I felt duped. I loved it so much I almost gave it 5 stars before finishing. I'm glad I waited because the last few chapters took all that love away."