A Return to Salem's Lot

"Oh my god my boyfriend and I watched this movie a while ago…I think it was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen?? Nonsensical writing! Nothing makes any sense in the movie and the beginning felt like the end then the end it’s self was just Absolute nonsense and repetitiveness as well so much repetitiveness!! Like the idea it’s self felt very cool if done right but this was not done right…it kinda gave me midnight mass vibes but only for a few moments. But don’t watch! "

"I dont know whose idea it was to do a vampire cult movie where the whole premise is "we're gonna trap this guy here so he'll write us our own Bible" but it didn't work out well at all. "

"Low budget, and it shows. A town full of vampires with actors so wooden they could be sharpened into stakes. I can't remember the main character's name but I know for sure that his son is named Jeremy with how often he unenthusiastically yells it. He is the human equivalent of a pair of khaki slacks. There are some randomly good fire and makeup effects sprinkled throughout, but the vast majority of the movie is people talking to each other like they just learned what a spoken language is, and boring interiors. Surprisingly, stabbing a vampire with an American flag is not a highlight in this movie. It feels like a movie where maybe only 2 people cared at all out of the whole crew, the prosthetics artist and the pyrotechnician, but they look like they only had $150 and an afternoon between them. There are a few interesting ideas that are not at all fulfilled, and instead the movie falls back into classic B movie garbage of running around in basements and setting small things on fire. "